1. I just don't get it

I love consumer technology. I wouldn't be working in thisjob if I didn't. But one thing I've never been able to do is get my head aroundis fanboyship. What is it about Apple that instils so much loyalty amongst so manypeople? Apple seems to be lauded as the indie alternative to the evilMicrosoft-dominated PC market, but WHY? People moan about the price of Windows Vista.But $2,040 (that's £1,000) for an Apple iPhone and a 2 year AT&T contract? Noproblem, apparently! It just doesn't compute.

2. It's not THAT good

When it comes down to it, the iPhone is not something that'sgoing to change your life. You're not going to be a better person for havingone. You're not going to be a richer person for having one - quite the oppositein fact. You may be a happier person for the first week or so, but only until the noveltyvalue expires and you suddenly realise how much you've paid for it. And you'renot going to be terribly happy about being promoted onto the mugger's MostWanted list either.

3. I love it too much

Possibly the number one reason why the Apple iPhone makes memiserable is simply because it's so good, and yet I can't have one! Ignoringthe fact that it's not available in the UK yet, it's too expensive anyway. Ican only just about afford my 3 contract and my Sony Ericsson K800i. I findthat being locked into an 18 month contract is bad enough, but two years? Thatwould be intolerable. The iPhone is awesome, but it just costs too much. £1,000over two years? I'd rather buy a new Mac.

4. I hate it too much

Simultaneously, I also hate the iPhone so much I can't evendescribe it. As I've said before, it's great, brilliant, fantastic, andunbelievable. But is it really worth all of this hype? It's only a phone, afterall. On Tech.co.uk we're trying to write all of the normal tech news everyday,but it seems that no matter what else happens, people are more interested inthe iPhone than anything else! I want to shout out and say "the iPhone is NOT themost important thing on the web!"

5. Missing features

It's got an awesome array of features, but is severelylacking in other areas. No 3G for example. There's also no anti-theft tazer gunperipheral. There's no infra red night-vision attachment goggles. Last time I checked, therewas also no Wiimote for playing games. That's like, soooo 2005. And where's the cup holder? Surely a Jesus Phone should have a cup holder?

Conclusion

Ultimately of course, it's all these things that end upmaking the iPhone the most talked about product in the world. It's good, but it'snot that good. It's annoying, yet everyone wants one. These internal contradictions arewhat makes the iPhone so hot. And in writing this, I've just become part of theonline media circus that just cannot stop writing about it. Oh well, if you can't beat 'em, and you can't kill 'em...

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